Que Dodge This! A League of Legends Podcast: Episode 1 (12/03/10)

So over the past few months, I've been investing a lot of my free time into a little gem of a game called League of Legends. It's a free tower defense game designed by Riot Games, the guys who originally made the Defense of the Ancients mod for Warcraft 3, and for a free game, it's actually surprisingly awesome. Me and a few friends have gotten fairly good at it, and I felt that I wanted to share some of my opinions and insight on it, and get some interesting discussion going about what's going on in both the game and the community around it. So please enjoy the first episode of Que Dodge This! I promise there is more to come.

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"http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer">

Here's a more direct link to, for those that are interested.

http://blip.tv/file/4464406

Video Game Review of Metroid: The Other M

Nothing gets gamers more hyped than the announcement of a new title in a big name franchise. Metroid: The Other M had me excitedly anticipating its release for about half a year now. Handed over to Team Ninja, the people responsible for the excellent (if extremely difficult) Ninja Gaiden games, the group promised to do exciting new things to Metroid, attempting to evolve and push it forward in the same way Metroid Prime originally did. And everything looked great….at least until the game was released. While the majority of critics gave it good ratings, there was just enough doubt and bad reviews in the air that I decided, before I was going to pay fifty bucks for this game, I would need to rent it first. So I went to the local video store, shelled out my ten bucks (seriously, this is what Blockbuster charges for game rentals these days), and went home to have what I hoped would be an enjoyable experience.

The first thing I noticed about the game is how it looks. Graphically, this game is fantastic by Wii standards. The cut scenes are the best I’ve seen on the console yet, and even the in-game graphics are great by comparison. I actually think my slightly older TV wasn’t able to render the graphics at their maximum, as the character models had a few rough edges, a problem I’ve seen happen with non-HD TVs. Still, the game has all the colors and effects I expect from a Metroid game, and in that respect, it shines as an unparalleled example that even an aging piece of tech like the Wii can still stand strong.

The gameplay feels like it’s a kickback to the glory days of Super Metroid, while at the same time evolving into something new entirely. About half the game plays as a pseudo side scroller, where you can move in all three dimensions, but the halls are angled in such a way that the third dimension has little impact. The rest of the time it’s open room or long hallways that allow for open movement, although the rooms never feel so vast that you’re truly roaming around. It should be noted that while the camera isn’t controllable, it is always adjusted to the perfect position for you to be able to see what’s going on around Samus. Only once or twice does it become a hindrance (such as running into an enemy slightly off screen), but otherwise it shifts seamlessly as needed, and always manages to catch the best and most cinematic angles.

Ooohh...I can't even see the pixels.

The control scheme for this game is almost too simple, as most of the time you’re playing the game with the Wii-Mote on its side, which creates a simple three button setup with a D-Pad for movement. Thanks to the well placed camera and the game’s natural auto aiming system (trust me, it’d be impossible without this), the controls work really well….at least until you have to go into first person mode. In order to beat the harder enemies and bosses, as well as solve puzzles, you are forced to flip the Wii-Mote vertically and use the fiddly controller as its creators intended. This feature actually works against the game, as the switch between modes is extremely awkward, and you’ll find half the time your aim goes all over the place as you try to adjust to the change. Coupled with the fact you have a very small window of opportunity to peg some of the harder enemies with missiles along with your original aiming orientation being based on which way your character model is facing, and you have a recipe for extreme frustration and many unnecessary continues. Maybe this is better with the newer more accurate Wii-Motes that have come out in recent years, but for those of us stuck with the old ones, the Wii’s “innovative” features do nothing but get in the way of the good gameplay.

So by now you must be thinking, “Wexiomatic, you’ve said the game is mostly good so far; how can you possibly think there was any stock in those bad reviews?” Well, yes, it’s true that mechanically I didn’t encounter that many problems. However, that wasn’t where the reviews gave the game a bad mark. The thing that everyone has been up in arms about with this game is the storyline and, even more importantly, the characterization of Samus Aran herself. This is the first time in the entire Metroid series where we really get to see Samus talk and finally get to learn a little about her beyond the brief mission reports from the other games. This is the part of the game that had everyone excited, and sadly, this is the part of the game that failed the hardest.

To all you Metroid fans out there, what do you think of when you think of Samus Aran? Personally, I picture a strong woman, a paragon bad ass in the world of video games. She is a character who is independent, keeps cool under pressure, is resourceful, and relies on her wits and guts to get the job done. Despite her mostly silent nature, we get that she isn’t heartless, as the story from Super Metroid shows hints of her kindness towards the last baby Metroid. She is, in my opinion, the original and best female character in gaming. She is the type of woman game creators should be designing for their games; a character whose gender is not only her least defining trait, but barely a factor at all. She is a bad ass, alien-blasting bounty hunter first and foremost, who just happens to be a woman. That to me is the definition of a great female character, and how I think Samus is viewed not only by me, but by the gaming community at large.

Check out the Arm Cannon on that one!

You read all that? Good. Now take that entire speech, and throw it all out the window when talking about Samus in this game. ALL OF IT.

This is the not the Samus we were expecting. Instead of a confident bad ass, Samus is portrayed as a self-doubting, insecure submissive idiot who has to rely on other characters in the story at every crucial interval in order to succeed. There are at least five points in the story when Samus is fighting or dealing with a huge threat, and is just absolutely helpless in some fashion until one of the soldiers comes to save her. And did I mention that all those characters are men? That’s right, Samus constantly needs a man to come to her aid and save her.

Now to be fair, almost all other characters Samus encounters in the game are men, so perhaps I am being a little overzealous about the feminist message. That might be the case, if it weren’t for Adam, Samus’ former commanding officer that she meets early on in the game’s mission (a few spoilers ahead, just as a warning). Samus is OBSESSED with Adam, to a really disturbing degree. She thinks of Adam as a father figure, and is remorseful that she offended him in the past by leaving the federation to become a bounty hunter. That’s right, Samus REGRETS becoming an independent galaxy-saving bad ass and instead wished she could still be a standard military subordinate, all because of this man. Still think I’m overreacting with the feminist message?

Yeah, you're going to learn to hate this guy. A LOT.

Oh, but it gets even better, since this Elektra Complex male dependency actually seeps into the gameplay itself. To those who have never played a Metroid game before, one of the core gameplay mechanics is collecting items and weapons to help you overcome the obstacles in your way, until you are an unstoppable armory of destruction. The problem with this is the Metroid games have a continuous storyline to them, so Samus technically does keep her upgrades between games, MEANING they need a good excuse to reset your equipment each game. Most games come a clever reason for this, such as an explosion malfunctioning your suit in Metroid Prime or the suit needing to be replaced due to infection in Metroid Fusion. But in Other M, you do have all your items from the last game, and this time, there’s no reason you couldn’t use all your items from the beginning. Oh wait, Adam says you aren’t authorized to use them until you really need them, since they might damage the ship. Well, he doesn’t actually SAY you can’t use them; you decide to take it upon yourself to follow these rules since it will please Adam. Because we must please Adam, as he can do no wrong and might as well be the one saving the universe instead of this WORTHLESS INCARNATION OF SAMUS.

I know is this just Team Ninja’s way of doing the upgrade-as-you-go mechanic, but this was probably one of the worst ways they could have possibly implemented it. It not only demeans the character of Samus, but also makes NO SENSE. You’re telling me Samus is going to let herself burn to death in the fire world just because some asshole in a command center doesn’t approve her to use her fire protection suit until she’s almost dead. I’m not exaggerating here either; you literally have to go through an hour of the lava world, slowly losing life the entire time, and it isn’t until you fight the world boss that Adam approves the Varia suit. That douche bag would have let you incinerate rather then breach protocol.

Don't worry about it Adam, I don't mind the horrific third degree burns if you think I deserve them.

The unlock system isn’t the only story structure problem with this game. The gameplay is constantly broken up by long cut scenes and scripted portions of walking where the controls and camera angles are designed to facilitate a specific cinematic atmosphere. The worst parts are when you're forced into first person mode to look for the one item or pixel on the screen that you must focus on to move the game forward, a task which sometimes has you frustratingly combing the screen for up to ten minutes. While this could potentially be an excellent way to propel a good story forward, Other M’s plot and writing is so weak and flimsy that you dread walking through every door for fear of having all the action stop dead just so the plot that you don’t care about can drone on endlessly. Which reminds me, for a previously nearly silent protagonist, Samus needs to learn to SHUT THE HELL UP. This woman NEVER stops talking, as every single cut scene involves her continuous inner monologue narrating every frigging detail of what’s happening in the game. And the few times she isn’t telling you what you’ve already figured out for yourself, she’s going into her dry and dull past relationship with Adam that has absolutely no relevance to the real plot of the game.

As I said before, Samus is rarely in charge of saving anything in her own story. The beautiful cut scenes are rarely used to show Samus kicking ass in any manner. In fact, they're mainly used to show off Samus' body when she's in her Zero Suit, which is, I swear, in about every other cinematic scene. I understand the story wants to show that's she human and actually allow us to understand and empathize with her, but the method Team Ninja employs is one of the most sexist and exploitive ways they could have possible. It reminds me over and over that this game is turning this character into a helpless damsel-in-distress for the sake of a little T&A.

You'd probably be able to take this scene more seriously if you weren't transfixed by that enormous derriere.

Oh but don't you worry, the game does in fact have a real plot beyond the crappy character back-story. It involves Metroids, and government experiments gone wrong, and potentially could have been interesting and exciting. However, the pacing of the story is awful, as the game seems much more concerned about indulging Samus’ inner yearnings for Adam, and the little bit of story we do get is full of plot holes that are never truly resolved. One of the biggest involves the suggestion of traitor in the federation commandos, a special agent designed to take down everyone involved in the mission in order to cover up the entire incident. So who could be the traitor; which of the completely bland and underdeveloped soldiers could it be? Well, the answer doesn't matter, since the entire subplot is forgotten by the end of the game, and has no importance to the conclusion of the story. Wow game, thanks for raising my expectations and wasting my time.

And that's only one example; there are many more moments throughout the game that will have you facepalming from idiocy, groaning in boredom, or literally throwing your controller across the room in sheer anger at the stupidity and ineptitude of the entire project. I could do an entire article about the most rage-worthy moments of this game, but I will save you my rant here (maybe another time). Suffice it to say that I haven't even begun to go into the most anger-inducing scenes in this game, but I will keep those surprises to myself for now. Who I am to spoil a perfectly horrible moment for you all?

Even if we ignore the story, this game doesn’t feel much like Metroid. The Metroid games have always been about exploring a hostile environment where the sense of dangerous isolation is everywhere. But this game feels completely different from that. There’s always another person around to talk to, and the entire level layout is extremely linear, as opposed to the open world exploration Metroid games are generally known for. Even the environments don’t feel right, as the artificial biological laboratories lack the creepy ambiance of their predecessors. It all feels off, and feels like a game that isn’t a Metroid title.

I think that’s what it all boils down to; the game doesn’t deliver we expect of a Metroid game. Were this some independent or lesser budget/new franchise title, I would be more forgiving. Disappointed, but at least forgiving. But this is Metroid, and we expect something out of a big name like that. This game, despite its interesting gameplay and great graphics, is everything we didn’t want Metroid to be. Maybe that sounds like I’m a ranting fanboy (which I am), but I really think it goes beyond that. This is a story that truly is uninteresting and boring to listen to, and the fact that it's a Metroid title only compounds this problem tenfold. Also, did I mention this game is only about ten hours long, maybe fifteen tops with a second playthrough to unlock everything? I wouldn’t know about that though, as my Wii actually crashed halfway through the credits, so I can only assume it would have permanently hemorrhaged itself to death had I attempted a second playthrough.

I went and watched the "real" ending on youtube later, and trust me, you aren't missing anything.

So yeah, while this game is probably worth a rental, there isn’t enough substance or quality here to warrant your fifty dollars for a full purchase. Maybe some day, when the game inevitably hits the bargain bin, it’ll be worth purchasing, but until then, keep it at as rental. And let’s all pray to the great Miyamoto above that the next time a Metroid game is made, Nintendo is more careful about how it turns out.

WEXIOMATIC RATING: 4/10 (Almost-but-not-quite Average)

Point and Click: Let's Play Broken Sword II: The Smoking Mirror (Parts 1-3)

Okay everyone, it's time for the first of a mini video series I call point and click. These will basically be Let's Play videos, but with a special focus on adventure games. Adventure games hold a special play in my heart when it comes to video games, and I am glad to see the genre have made a come back in recent years, as it faced near death at the end of the 90's. But a history of adventure games is a topic for another review. However, even with the influx of newer adventure games like the stuff from telltale games or the phoenix wright titles, there are so many old adventure games that people have forgotten. So many games made where the controls were hard, the puzzle solutions were ridiculous, and the stories and dialogue absolutely laughable. And that's where I come in.

Throughout this series, I will be playing through and commenting on various older (and sometimes newer) adventure games that I stumble across. My only rule is I can't have played it before, since I want my reactions to these to be genuine and my struggle to be real (as I tend to remember the games I play very well, and thus I'll know all the puzzles). I believe these videos will be more interesting and more humorous this way.

Which brings me to the first part of the first game; Broken Sword II: The Smoking Mirror. I will be actively playing through this game for the next month or so, and will have the footage posted as soon as I'm done editing it. So sit back, and enjoy the show.


PART 1



PART 2


PART 3



NOTE: Please excuse the echo in the first two videos. This is actually my first attempt at recording and editing videos, so I've had a tough time figuring it all out. Now that I've hammered out the major problems and figured out the basic tricks, the following videos should be coming out more frequently AND I will be able to get back to work on new articles again.

ALSO NOTE: If you have any feedback on these videos or have any games you'd like to see me do, please either post it in the comments below or send me an email. I always want to improve my methods and my entertainment quality and will graciously take any advice you have to give, or suggestions of things you want me to do.

Movie Review: Inception

As a dweller of the internet, it is very hard to go more then a few days without having a new movie spoiled completely for myself. So to go five days without any spoilers for Inception was a difficult task, to say the least. Still, I’m glad I pulled it off, as Inception was worth the wait, proving to be not only one of the best films of the summer, but possibly one of the best films of the entire year.

I had high hopes from this film from the onset, even before the critics were showering it with praise. Director Christopher Nolan has proven his ability to create stunning blockbuster successes before, with movies like The Dark Knight and The Prestige, along with beautiful artistic pieces, such as Memento (a personal favorite of mine). But even for someone with his track record, this movie looked to be almost too weird for its own good. Take a look at this first trailer here to see what I mean.

Now what did that tell us about the movie kids? Absolutely nothing, that’s what. Even when the third and final trailer rolled around, the only revelation we got was that the entire movie’s strangeness revolved around dreams. Enlightening, but it still gave no real indication as to what the plot was. Still, it’s important to go into the movie with a positive attitude, and I had faith in the director, so I paid the ten dollars for my over priced ticket and sat down to enjoy the show.

(WARNING: The next sections contain some minor spoilers to the plot of the movie. I’m not going to reveal any of the big revelations, but if you’re going to be bothered by even the smallest plot details, you might just want to skip ahead.)

The movie starts off by introducing us to our protagonist, Cobb, played by Leonardo DiCaprio. Cobb is a specialist in dream extraction, a skill that involves entering and manipulating a person’s dreams in order to reveal important information to the extractor. The physical limitations behind this are fairly interesting, as the extractor must also be hooked up to the same machine as the dreamer and go to sleep as well. While never really focused on, these limitations come up multiple times in the film as obstacles that the characters must be clever to overcome.

After an important job goes south, Cobb is hired by an influential businessman, played by Ken Watanabe, to pull one last extremely difficult job, something that supposedly can’t be done (hint; it has to do with the movie’s title). In order to accomplish this, Cobb and his partner Arthur, played by Joesph Gordon-Levitt, set out to find the most talented people for the job, a story element that felt very reminiscent of Ocean’s Eleven. Among these specialists are the young mind architect Ariadne (played by Ellen Paige), the charismatic con-man Eames (played by Tom Hardy), and the pragmatic chemist Yusuf (played by Dileep Rao). Using a complex, heist style plot that manipulates the laws of the dream world, the group delves into their target’s head to attempt to accomplish the impossible.

END OF SPOILERS (Trust me, you didn’t miss much).

The acting in this film is absolutely top notch, and while I don’t think any of them will be winning an Oscar, every actor is strutting their best stuff on screen. DiCaprio in particular delivers a complex and deep performance, as he wrestles with his own guilt and inner demons over his past transgressions, the impact of which literally has him facing his own psychological obstacles in the dream world. Ellen Paige’s performance synergizes extremely well with DiCaprio’s, as she slowly convinces him to reveal more and more about his mysterious past; this roll definitely shows her potential as an actress who is more then capable of handling more dramatic and adult characters, as opposed to the younger archetypes she usually is associated with (such as in Juno). Even the minor roles are extremely well done, such as a short cameo by Michael Cain, and it’s a mark of Nolan’s skill as a director for bringing out the best in his actors.

Watching Inception is a strange roller coaster ride of shifting expectations, as the movie is in a constant process of changing its focus and evolving its theme. The first act of the film is very reminiscent of The Matrix, as you we are still unfamiliar with the rules of this world and wonder at the strange happenings occurring on screen. As the second act rolls around and the confusion is abated, the movie feels more like a heist film with a unique twist, as the characters plan their impossible deed. But by the time we’re well into the third act, the movie has turned into an action packed race against time, where the all the hidden revelations play out and blend with the tension to create an experience that feels truly original to behold.

Speaking of original, Inception’s special effects are some of the best I’ve seen all year, and I’m not just referring to the CGI. In fact, the CGI in the movie is actually rather downplayed, used only when necessary to show the changes of physics and matter in the dream world. It’s actually rather refreshing to see a movie that doesn’t feel it needs to rely on overblown CGI in order to be a good film. Where the effects are most impressive though is in the shifting gravity fights that occur late in the film. The changes in camera angles combined with the actors free floating and effortless orientation shifts are breath taking, and the anti gravity brawl between Author and one of the Dream Projections is one of the coolest fight scenes I’ve seen in years, rivaling some of the original Matrix choreography in terms of originality.

While I could endlessly praise the film, it wouldn't be fair of me to say this movie is flawless. Ironically enough, Inception’s greatest failure is also one of its most necessary elements. While Inception does not lack in tension or action, it does fail to ever reach an emotional pitch to truly move the viewer. Rather, it crescendos at a certain level of tension about halfway through the movie, and remains at that level for the rest of the film. And for a movie that’s almost two and a half hours, that’s a long time to not be getting the true emotional depth you’re subconsciously craving. The trade off to this is Inception uses all the time it could have taken to build emotional energy, and uses it to make sure the plot and fantastic elements of the movie are able to be understood and easily followed. This is almost necessary for Inception, as the concept and execution of dream extraction would be impossible to follow without the level of detail and pacing that the script gives to the story. Because of this, the movie always remains fairly easy to follow (as long as you’re paying close attention), and while the trade off is unfortunate, I’m not sure if there was a better way Nolan could have pulled it off.

In all, Inception is a great film with a unique concept that really shows off the growing talent of Christopher Nolan. You really aren’t going to see a better non-Pixar movie this summer. Also, if you think this is one of those movies that you won’t like or get because it’s going be too “smart” for you to be entertained, get off your high horse. The plot is not as hard to follow as everyone says, and there’s more then enough action and cool effects to satisfy those of you who don’t care about depth (though you really need to reconsider how you watch movies if that’s not important to you with a film like this). And now that you’re done reading this review, its time to wake up and go see Inception. Or perhaps that too will simply be a dream….

WEXIOMATIC RATING: 9/10 [Absolutely Amazing]

The WeX-Files is go!

Hey everyone, this is Wexiomatic, and welcome to my blog, the WeX-Files. This is the first post in what I hope to be a rapidly developing and entertaining blog on all the things I find both good and bad in the world of entertainment. Specifically, I'll be doing written reviews of movies, video games, TV shows, and other such pop culture and entertainment media as I see fit. As the title of the blog suggests, I'm mostly going to be focusing on things from "geek" culture, though you should really expect to see anything that either amuses or enrages me pop up (don't worry though, I won't be getting into any political or religious rants here).

While I'll be sticking to written reviews at the start, as time goes on (and as I get a better handle on editing this blog), I'm going to be starting up video reviews and commentaries on the things I write about. For now though, I'll simply be using my words to entertain and inform. Also expect the blog to be changing format wise for the first few weeks, as I have some fun ideas about how I want to set up and what I want to add. You should also check out the links I have below, especially the Websites You Should Enjoy list, as it consists of reviewers and entertainers who have both inspired me to start this and are far more entertaining then myself.

Enjoy the WeX-Files everyone! The truth is out there, and be believe me, it's going to be both fun and painful to watch.

(PS: If anyone has an tips, complaints or suggestions, please let me know! As I said, this is still an evolving blog, and I want to make this as accessible, entertaining, and easy to use as possible.)